Repurposed

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,

plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

I love fresh cut flowers. I love the fragrance they emit and the burst of color they add to a room. Home grown or store bought, I can always find a special arrangement to display in my favorite vase.

Last week, my favorite vase was damaged. I saw the vase wobble as my dog bumped the table it was on. Wobble. Wobble. Crash. It hit the floor before I could reach out and grab the prized possession. I was devastated. It was a self crafted gift from my daughter. Irreplaceable. It had held many bouquets of beautiful floral arrangements. Now cracked in several places, I knew it would no longer hold fresh flowers again.

I collected the pieces and made my way to the trash can. Saddened by the thought of discarding the favored vase, I began to put the pieces back together and became excited to see the vase take shape and quickly grabbed the super glue. I was able to put it back together. And if I turned it just right, you could not even see the glued edges. A big bow camouflaged the cracked neck and it was almost as good as new. And while I knew it would never be able to hold fresh flowers and water, I saw it’s new worth in holding a silk arrangement of flowers. My favorite vase had a new purpose!

Isn’t that how our journey is on this road of widowhood? I know for me, it has caused me to question every aspect of what is around the next corner. After thirty years of being “Jeff and Bonnie”, I don’t know how to be “just Bonnie” any more.

I have struggled with finding what God’s purpose is for me now? Alone, I feel inadequate and scared. I have questioned if my life still has purpose. And if so, what is that purpose. This is certainly not what “I” had planned for my life. I had invested and built a life shared with my husband and we joyfully sought areas we could serve God together. Not alone. I certainly did not plan for alone. Fear, incompetence and unqualified flooded my thoughts and caused me to ask if there was still a purpose for my life?

Satan wants us to believe not. No way.

BUT, God says, ABSOLUTELY.

Although, I can no longer serve with my husband, I can still serve. Just as my broken vase had found a new purpose, I, too can find a new purpose. Prayer and meditating on God’s words can give us the direction we need as we seek where God can use us. It is no surprise to God that I am on this path and this journey of widowhood alone, can open many doors to glorify God, in testimony to His faithfulness in our walk.

I encourage you to take time to grieve. It is a necessary step in your personal growth. This time frame is different for each of us. Just remember to allow God to permeate your soul with His love. Bask in His word and as you feel comfortable, surround yourself with other Christians. As you move toward a place of healing, He will reveal ways for you to serve. And these areas are not always big and bold. I have often discovered that I have encouraged or comforted someone just by my quiet actions and confidence in Christ.

I was eighteen months out when I discovered this ministry. I remember sitting in my bedroom in the wee areas of a winter morning, weeping as I read the writings of Christian women who were walking this same path. I had felt so alone and did not know how to express the inadequacies I was feeling. Not only did their personal stories speak to me, but, they encouraged me to seek areas where I could serve. What a blessing to hear stories from so many of the readers of how and where they are serving God.

It is through serving others that the emphasis of “I” disappears. Yes. I did not plan for alone. But, I will continue to lean on God and seek ways I can serve, encourage and help others. I am praying for each of you as you move forward. I pray God heals, comforts and leads you to the abundant life He still has in place for each of us.

Father, please allow our hearts to come to a place of healing. May each lady reading this discover a new purpose in her walk to serve You. I pray they can see the beauty in the brokenness. Amen


Bonnie is a mother of two awesome daughters who bless her life every day. When she’s not enjoying long walks along the Florida coastline, she is flying through the skies as a flight attendant. Life took a radical change in the spring of 2009 when her husband was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. The walk through that journey was the hardest she had ever walked. How did she make it through? And how is she surviving? The answer is simple. Jesus. His love. His mercy. His grace. He carried her when she was at her lowest.  And Bonnie carried Him in her heart even when she did not understand. He has been faithful in His promises – “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.” (Psalm 68:5) Bonnie has been called by God to share her story through writing and speaking.

To book a speaker email us at admin@anewseason.net

For more articles by Bonnie, click here

Read more about finding God’s purpose for you by Teri and Sheryl.

6 replies
  1. Pam Foster
    Pam Foster says:

    I love the way you crafted the storyline to revolve around the vase. In more ways than one, you were broken and shattered when you lost Jeff. The pieces take a long time to be put back together and you can still see and feel the cracks, and it definitely looks different than it once did. But as you say, you have a new purpose and it is in sharing your story and encouraging others in their walk of widowhood. It is a beautiful image of a vase once beloved, now broken that is put together or “cobled” together with Super Glue and used for something beautiful. I see the use of the Super glue as the Holy Spirit, putting the pieces of your soul back together again. This piece can apply to any of us who have faced brokenness and loss, we are never the same from the loss, but we live on in a different image of ourselves, with tiny cracks and fissures that sometimes only God can see. Our brokenness can sometimes be visible or invisible, but only God can heal or “super glue” our pieces back together again.

    Reply
    • Bonnie Vickers
      Bonnie Vickers says:

      As always, Pam, your sweet words encourage and lift me up! Thank you for being so faithful in supporting me during my walk – you know I love you! I never thought about the glue as an image for the Holy Spirit – wow, LOVE that! Glad you shared that! Love you and love your thoughts! Always, Bonnie

      Reply
  2. Vicki Helm
    Vicki Helm says:

    I love this, Bonnie, I could have written it myself. God has directed every step I have taken on this journey (it’s been 25 months for me), and I know He continues to as I seek His direction. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Bonnie Vickers
      Bonnie Vickers says:

      Vicki, Thank you for your words. I was telling someone earlier that our stories are so similar, and yet, different. God will direct each of us to use our journey through this great grief in different ways. I can not imagine walking it without His guidance and His comfort. Bless you, my sister! Bonnie

      Reply
  3. Barb Downey
    Barb Downey says:

    Thank you. The analogy of the broken vase touched me this morning. I have been missing my husband so much, and I need to grieve. But I also need to refocus on where God is leading me. I know He does have a new purpose for my life. Thank you for reminding me of this. I am grateful for all He is doing and all He is going to do.
    May God bless you, Bonnie. You are helping us heal. ❤️🙏

    Reply
    • Bonnie Vickers
      Bonnie Vickers says:

      Thank you for your comments, Barb. This journey is very difficult! It is truly a balance of the deep grief and trusting God to supply our needs and comfort us as well. For me, (and I am sure, for many) I not only lost my husband, but my “best friend”. We did everything together. To fill that gaping hole is quite the task! Only through His presence have I been able to move forward and as healing slowly pieces my heart together, I search deeper for my purpose. Praying for you, my friend, as you move onward and seek. Blessings to you! Bonnie

      Reply

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