liz ann nay wright kit hinkle a new season a widows might widowhood support choosing to be single gods purpose for my life

The Freedom to Say “No, Thank You”

There was also a prophet, Anna, the daughter of Penuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem. – Luke 2:36-38

I have always been fascinated by Anna and her small, but pivotal, role in this unfolding drama that is our Lord’s start in life. How could she stay devoted to God, constantly in the temple, for all those years?

More recently, I have been touched by her widow status.

Anna had been a widow a long, long, long time.

And because she was, she was able to be there in the temple when the Lord was dedicated.

I have felt a lot of pressure to date again, from both family and friends, married and unmarried.

Recently, several of my widow sisters have stepped forward into love again…dating, getting engaged and re-marrying. I am over the moon in my excitement for them. They have found great guys, in line with God’s calling on their lives, and have not been afraid to plunge into the waters of loving again.

But…while I am thrilled for them, I am equally certain that this course is not for me. Not now…maybe not ever.

And that’s OK. I know it’s OK because of Anna.

Dedicated simply to the Lord’s service, no distractions in her path, she prayed and fasted and went about the Lord’s business. That, to me, sounds like Heaven on earth!

I bet she was the go-to gal for prayer concerns, and kept her friends, family, town, and nation bathed in prayer. I bet she could sit and listen to the Lord for hours, and knew His voice as clearly as her own. I bet she had sweet, solitary worship, hands raised above her head, as she told her Lord how much He meant to her.

Maybe it’s because my life is so crazy now that this sounds appealing. I know I often long for simplicity and more oneness with God, oneness that especially long for since I am without my sweet husband. Maybe it’s because I long to be able to be singularly focused on Kingdom things, not on the minutia of life on earth. Perhaps it’s simply that I am tired and long for the rest that only my Savior provides, and I long to listen more closely to His voice.

Whatever the reason, this is my season…God-ordained, just as much as my sisters who are again dating and married.

Sisters, I don’t know which part of this widow journey you are on, or which you are supposed to be on. I am not even sure I will stay the course of singleness forever. But I do know this: God has purpose and meaning in both paths, and by His grace, we can be fulfilled in both.

I pray that as you consider whether to date…or to remarry…you lean on our loving Lord to make those decisions. He has all the answers we need.

Father God, I pray that You guide us on our journeys of singleness, dating, and remarriage. I pray that You help us to know which path is best for us now and always, and I pray that we can walk boldly forward to serve You, single or married, just as You would have us do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

6 replies
  1. Doretta Hopper
    Doretta Hopper says:

    I became a widow in 2006 after 28 years of a wonderful, God centered marriage. I have not remarried and have only dated a couple of times. I am trusting God for my future. I want to first of all be all that He wants me to be. I am happy and content with my singleness. God has fulfilled my heart and life with our daughter that was born when I was 43 (now 57 and she is 14.) Although we had tried for years to have our 2nd child that came 12 years after my first, I could not believe that we had a third child when we did. But God knew what I needed so He blessed us with a third child. Five years later my wonderful husband went home to be with Jesus after a very short bout with cancer. All I can say is God is wonderful and I am most content with my life at this point. He may choose to place another person in my life but if He doesn’t, I will praise Him forever. Thanks for your words. Someone is always asking me….you dating? You wanna marry again? On and on. I just say my God is in complete control of my life.

    • Liz Anne Wright
      Liz Anne Wright says:

      Amen, sister! Holding on to God’s perfect plan for my life as well…whatever that brings. To Him be the glory!

  2. Ferree Hardy
    Ferree Hardy says:

    “…this is my season…God-ordained, just as much as my sisters who are again dating and married.” So true, Liz! There’s no better place than the center of God’s will? I, for one, fully support your decision and I know God will bless you and fulfill you in wonderful ways, more than you can ask or think.

  3. Ellen Valovcin
    Ellen Valovcin says:

    I was married for 27 years when my husband went to be with the Lord. It has been 11 years now that I have been a widow, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him, and remember the love we shared. When I first became a widow, God revealed Anna the Prophetess story to me. What a joy to know it was ok to stay single, and just serve the Lord! I think our family just wants us to be happy and cared for, because as grown children with families of their own, they can’t be with us to care for us all the time. I just keep telling them, it’s ok because God is my husband. I Timothy 5:5, 9-10 tells us that a widow seeks the things of the Lord, but a wife seeks to please her husband. When we are married, we seek to please the Lord, and He tells us to care for our family. As a widow, we seek only to please the Lord and do His will. We each have to follow God’s direction for our lives, and like you, I may one day remarry, but for now, it’s ok to remain single. I so enjoy reading your articles! Thank you for putting into words what my heart feels! Praying for you that God will continue to give you the words to soothe other widow’s hearts, and praying He continues to bring Peace and Joy and happy memories anew each day as you continue your journey with our Savior Jesus Christ! Till we meet in His presence, Hugs and prayers sent your way!

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