Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. 2 Thessalonians 3:16
In about nine weeks, it will be the third anniversary of the best part of me being taken home to Heaven. Daryl Clark Cox, left this world in March of 2012. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him and miss him. By all rights, he was a much better human being than me, but somehow, he adored me. Not just a little, but a LOT! Each moment of the day, I knew I was special and loved and chosen. I knew that someone waited for me to come home and wanted to be with me.
Whenever we face change, dramatic change, we have two responses; fight or flight. If we chose flight or running, most often the problem simply goes with us. It’s just geography if we don’t deal with the underlying issues. If we chose fight, we have to fight in healthy ways. We have to fight with integrity and the purpose of pushing through, but not with anger or rage, that leaves those around us drowning in our wake.
Three years out, from the most dramatic change of my life, I don’t know that I will ever be blessed enough to have an amazing love again. What would give me the right to be chosen twice? I must admit though, for the first time, I am thinking about it again. I’m thinking about dating again, potentially finding love again. If you knew me, you would know that it takes a special man to “take me on”. I’m not the nice quiet “girl next door” kind of woman. I have the heart of an artist, which means life is full speed, “all-in” all the time, and NEVER boring. I love full out and live full out. Sometimes, (okay most of the time) that can be intimidating to people around me. I’ve had to come to terms with this fact.
I am trying to be at peace with my new normal. I was blessed by a marriage that many look for, all of their lives. I was given much and much was expected, but I never took it for granted. However, some days, that makes me want it again, all the more. I KNOW how incredible marriage can be and I believe that I am made to be a wife but, my standards are high now. I know what I want and what I will not settle for, or accept. If a man is not chasing after the heart of God, he should never expect me to chase after him. For that matter, even if he were chasing after the heart of God, he would still need to figure out how to chase after me too, because I am not planning on chasing anyone. Mutual respect would allow room in our lives for each other, but chasing wears you out and makes you sweat; so I have a no chasing policy. I believe that any man God sends my way, will come to me already loving me. I will NOT have to chase after a place in their lives.
I will NEVER look for a man like Daryl. He was one of a kind, without question. Yet, because of him, I have a list of 20 non negotiables that would have to be met by any man who might want to court me. I’m not about dating for dating sake. I guess that I am old fashioned that way, but dating has to have an intended purpose or it is a waste of time and energy for me. I want God’s love story, not a Hollywood version or a bad ‘B’ roll fantasy. God intends for us to love all of those around us, with His love first and romance at a distant second. Who do you still need to love more deeply today, sister? Perhaps, a parent, a sister, brother, son, daughter, friend, coworker, or yourself. We are not talking about a Hollywood love, but a love that changes lives for eternity? “Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!” 1 Chronicles 16:34 ESV I want to love all of those around me more deeply, because love that endures forever makes an eternal impact.
Forever love leaves forever footprints.
Lord-Help us to grow during this new season. To find a new normal and to love those around us, with your love story. Amen!