When the Days Pile up

One after another. Though it’s been nearly two-and-a-half years since my husband Michael made his way to heaven, it seems the anniversaries and holidays approach faster and faster, and then pile up. The two days that are most difficult, outside of the day I lost him, are within just a few weeks of each other – Last month was our wedding anniversary. Last week was our son’s birthday.

These difficult days continue throughout the year. Sunday is Mother’s Day. June is his birthday and Father’s Day and so on.

It is obvious he isn’t here, but those days – the anniversaries, birthdays and holidays – are such in-your-face moments of his absence. But the Lord is never absent, and He is the One who can help us get up and show up, each day, after our life falls apart. He never promised life without pain, but He did promise our sufferings on this earth would be worth it when we reach eternity with Him.

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18 (NIV)

Though we have hope, as Christians, and know we will see them again, we miss our husbands on this earth no matter how much time passes. The pain from their loss will always stand, but as each holiday, anniversary and difficult day comes and goes, the Lord stands stronger. He comforts, strengthens, protects, heals and guides us through this earthly life, until we one day join Him and are reunited with our husbands.

The Lord Comforts. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

The Lord Strengthens. “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)

The Lord Protects. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

The Lord Guides. “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

The Lord Heals. “and provide for those who grieve in Zion– to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)

Lord, There are days, especially holidays and anniversaries, without our husbands that can be so difficult, dark and full of despair. Direct us to Your word, and help us to depend on You for comfort, strength, protection, guidance and healing. We know You are the only one capable of transforming our lives. We are so thankful we have you to lean into. Amen.

______________________________________________________________________

Jennifer was widowed by suicide in January 2015. She is recently remarried and lives with her husband Keith in north central Texas. She is now the mom and step mom of three sons.  When she’s not running after three energetic boys, Jennifer loves running outdoors, enjoying nature. As her grief journey continues, she is sharing her story to help others know that it is only in the Lord that hopeful healing and walking forward are possible.

 

Our team at A Widow’s Might would love to send a speaker to your next event. Email us at admin@anewseason.net to get information about our speakers.

 

When the Shoe is On the Other Foot

My cell phone rang one afternoon. I glanced at the caller ID and saw it was one of my “widow sisters”.

Our “small talk” was cut short when she jumped right into the reason for her calling. She felt awful because of a friendship that has been wounded.

Remember all the times you have struggled with losing friendships after the loss of your husband?

“Why would she avoid me like this?”

“What did I do to make them not want to include me anymore?”

“She never even called me after my greatest loss!”

We have written several articles about these situations because the loss of friendships after the loss of our husbands is like a double-whammy. We needed these friends, and they weren’t there for us.

My friend was in tears because she realized she was ONE of those friends this time. A high- profile death occurred in her city, and she wasn’t in the closest circle of friends. The husband passed away suddenly, and my friend was advised to “lay low” for a while, but was in constant prayer for the family. The families had such an interesting relationship over about twenty years. Picture frames held glimpses of outrageously fun trips with her children. Always her prayer list included members of this family.

Now, many months after the man’s death, an email showed up in my friend’s mail.

“Where have you been?”

“Of all people, you should have been here.”

Like a knife, it stuck in her heart.

The shoe was on HER foot this time. She was ONE of those friends. My friend is so thoughtful and a true prayer-warrior. She never would be like this. But she listened to advice that now had come back to hurt them both. She remembered those friends who stepped out of the picture when her own husband died as a young father. She remembered the empty feeling of not having a close connection during the most painful time as a young solo parent. And now the pain of knowing she had done the same thing unintentionally was devastating.

As I listened, one word came to my mind.

Grace.

But he said to me, “My GRACE is sufficient for YOU, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

Sometimes we have to give ourselves grace, not to mention others.

Sometimes we have to embrace our failures so Christ is able to shine through. Just like the pieces of a stained glass window are most beautiful when the sun shines through, we are most beautiful when we let Christ show through our weaknesses. The people who see this will know for sure it is God and not our own strength.

My advice to my beautiful friend was to do what she had already been led by God to do: contact her immediately and apologize. She needed to let this friend know she had never ceased praying for her and her family. Not sure of the new widow’s spiritual standing, my friend never intended to be a stumbling block to her faith journey.

Guilt over mistakes and weaknesses is not from God.

But allowing Christ to shine through our cracks and broken pieces is often when others see Him the brightest.

Have you been unintentionally aloof to another new widow, just waiting for the “right time” to say something but never seeing a chance? Have you not reached out to another friend when you should have? We all are guilty of things in friendships that hurt others. But I find it so easy to point out the people in my life who have not been the friend I needed. This call from my friend was a reminder to me to evaluate MY part in friendships.

Lord Jesus, thank You for opportunities to share the comfort You have given us through our deepest valley and darkest days. Give us chances each day to shine Your light so others can see it in our weaknesses. Friends are a gift so help us appreciate the friends we have while looking for ways we can be a better friend to others. Amen 


Elizabeth kay Dyer, Elizabeth Sleeper Dyer, Dyer, Sleeper

Elizabeth Dyer lives in Oklahoma with her six children named after Bible characters, a large dog named after a grandfather, and a noisy cat named after a German race car driver!  Elizabeth lost her husband in 2012 and is learning she only THOUGHT she knew what trusting God was–widowhood has taken that “faith walk” to a whole new level for her. Psalm 94:19 has become a special verse for her family – “Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer.”

Our team at A Widow’s Might would love to send a speaker to your next event. Email us at admin@anewseason.net to get information about our speakers.

Do you want to read more articles by Elizabeth? Read them here. 

Here’s a great article about friendships from Erika.

Another great article from Kit.

 

Repurposed

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,

plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

I love fresh cut flowers. I love the fragrance they emit and the burst of color they add to a room. Home grown or store bought, I can always find a special arrangement to display in my favorite vase.

Last week, my favorite vase was damaged. I saw the vase wobble as my dog bumped the table it was on. Wobble. Wobble. Crash. It hit the floor before I could reach out and grab the prized possession. I was devastated. It was a self crafted gift from my daughter. Irreplaceable. It had held many bouquets of beautiful floral arrangements. Now cracked in several places, I knew it would no longer hold fresh flowers again.

I collected the pieces and made my way to the trash can. Saddened by the thought of discarding the favored vase, I began to put the pieces back together and became excited to see the vase take shape and quickly grabbed the super glue. I was able to put it back together. And if I turned it just right, you could not even see the glued edges. A big bow camouflaged the cracked neck and it was almost as good as new. And while I knew it would never be able to hold fresh flowers and water, I saw it’s new worth in holding a silk arrangement of flowers. My favorite vase had a new purpose!

Isn’t that how our journey is on this road of widowhood? I know for me, it has caused me to question every aspect of what is around the next corner. After thirty years of being “Jeff and Bonnie”, I don’t know how to be “just Bonnie” any more.

I have struggled with finding what God’s purpose is for me now? Alone, I feel inadequate and scared. I have questioned if my life still has purpose. And if so, what is that purpose. This is certainly not what “I” had planned for my life. I had invested and built a life shared with my husband and we joyfully sought areas we could serve God together. Not alone. I certainly did not plan for alone. Fear, incompetence and unqualified flooded my thoughts and caused me to ask if there was still a purpose for my life?

Satan wants us to believe not. No way.

BUT, God says, ABSOLUTELY.

Although, I can no longer serve with my husband, I can still serve. Just as my broken vase had found a new purpose, I, too can find a new purpose. Prayer and meditating on God’s words can give us the direction we need as we seek where God can use us. It is no surprise to God that I am on this path and this journey of widowhood alone, can open many doors to glorify God, in testimony to His faithfulness in our walk.

I encourage you to take time to grieve. It is a necessary step in your personal growth. This time frame is different for each of us. Just remember to allow God to permeate your soul with His love. Bask in His word and as you feel comfortable, surround yourself with other Christians. As you move toward a place of healing, He will reveal ways for you to serve. And these areas are not always big and bold. I have often discovered that I have encouraged or comforted someone just by my quiet actions and confidence in Christ.

I was eighteen months out when I discovered this ministry. I remember sitting in my bedroom in the wee areas of a winter morning, weeping as I read the writings of Christian women who were walking this same path. I had felt so alone and did not know how to express the inadequacies I was feeling. Not only did their personal stories speak to me, but, they encouraged me to seek areas where I could serve. What a blessing to hear stories from so many of the readers of how and where they are serving God.

It is through serving others that the emphasis of “I” disappears. Yes. I did not plan for alone. But, I will continue to lean on God and seek ways I can serve, encourage and help others. I am praying for each of you as you move forward. I pray God heals, comforts and leads you to the abundant life He still has in place for each of us.

Father, please allow our hearts to come to a place of healing. May each lady reading this discover a new purpose in her walk to serve You. I pray they can see the beauty in the brokenness. Amen


Bonnie is a mother of two awesome daughters who bless her life every day. When she’s not enjoying long walks along the Florida coastline, she is flying through the skies as a flight attendant. Life took a radical change in the spring of 2009 when her husband was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. The walk through that journey was the hardest she had ever walked. How did she make it through? And how is she surviving? The answer is simple. Jesus. His love. His mercy. His grace. He carried her when she was at her lowest.  And Bonnie carried Him in her heart even when she did not understand. He has been faithful in His promises – “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.” (Psalm 68:5) Bonnie has been called by God to share her story through writing and speaking.

To book a speaker email us at admin@anewseason.net

For more articles by Bonnie, click here

Read more about finding God’s purpose for you by Teri and Sheryl.

The Greater Choice, Based on the Greater Truth

“The Lord is good.”

Psalm 100:5 (ESV)

Did the deluge of choices begin immediately for you?

For me they began at the hospital.

What do I do now?

Do I go home?

Can I trust myself to drive?

These were the first of many choices I didn’t want to face.  Even though my husband had been battling metastatic cancer, his death stunned me and produced both soul-numbing and penetrating agony.  It also sent my mind reeling to assimilate the reality that he was truly gone from me and with His Lord and mine.  Amidst the many unwanted choices required from day one, and in the aftermath, a larger question has always been present:

Who will I be when all the dust settles?

It’s a fair question. Have you wondered who you will be?  Who are you becoming? We know we cannot finish the same way we entered this experience. Our spouses’ death was life-altering to each of us. We continue here, but as we do, how are we altered?

How we respond to our experiences is defining. A singular challenge is that the One who allowed our grief circumstances, is the very One who has our means to function in them. The very grace of God is His empowerment to us. However, it is difficult to hold two truths which seem at odds. Here’s an example from my own story:

The same God who loved me so much He gave His only begotten Son to suffer and die for me, is the same God who allowed the staggering pain of my husband’s cancer, death, and my own grief. These two things are at odds, valid as they are different.

I have learned to hold one truth within the other by using an eternal lens to view the present.

I hold the truth that God allowed the staggering pain of my husband’s cancer, death, and my own grief, in the hand of the other truth—that God sent Christ for love of me, my husband, our children… to offer all people the opportunity to know His love eternally.

How we choose to hold the two truths of our stories determines much about how we are altered by our losses and who we become.

This is our greater choice. We can view the temporary by the eternal or the eternal by the temporary. One inspires closeness to God and access to His grace. The other tends to do the opposite. My choice is to view the unwanted alterations to my life by the greater truth: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” – Eph. 1:3 (NIV)  God’s love and goodness are undeniable.

My choice is to avoid giving the pain command to alter my view of God. I don’t have to understand it all. The cross tells me enough.

Precious Lord, we ask for Your empowering grace and the eternal Truth of Who You are and what You did for us to frame how we face every alteration in our lives. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.


Janene @ Myrtle Beach

Janene lives in the Dallas area, surrounded by her children, their sweethearts, two grandchildren, and a host of wonderful friends.  Janene married her beloved Frank in 1972 and enjoyed 40 precious years with him. Four months after celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary, Frank lost his rigorous battle against bladder cancer. Frank left a void so vast, it was like a black hole which threatened to swallow Janene whole. However, God’s faithfulness has been exceptional. As a retired minister at a local church, she spends her time painting, mentoring, serving in Stephen Ministry leadership, and seeks to trust Christ in this new season of life.

 

Always of Good Courage – Day 1,826


Always of good courage

1,826 days since my husband took his final breath.

 

Please indulge me as I take time to ponder. How would he see us on this five year anniversary?

There are certain things I know without a doubt. You may recognize some of them in your own circumstance.

He would be:

SURPRISED how much has changed in the world since he was alive, even small things like changes to our city roadways.

I had one of those irrational moments that makes sense only to those who experience grief. One day as I viewed massive changes to the interstate close to our home I began to panic. I worried he wouldn’t recognize how to get home. I then remembered he would never need that information again.

 

PROUD of the accomplishments of our children.

His coworkers mentioned repeatedly during visitation how often he talked about his family. They spoke of how he hurried to get back home to us when he traveled. One sorrow that never fades is that he cannot be physically present for milestones with our children now. However, they can be assured he would be bursting with pride and giving big hugs if he could be there.

 

THRILLED to know his grandson and future grandchildren!

He looked forward to spoiling grands. Though none of them will ever meet him here on earth they will still know who he was and what he loved. Papa G is present in photos and videos. He is mentioned often with love and laughter — he will not be forgotten.

 

PLEASED that I have been always of good courage from the day of his death to the present, have walked by faith, drawn strength from God’s word, and encouraged other widows to do the same.

He loved to serve. He supported anything I pursued, and it made him happy when we helped others. During our last prayer together, he asked God,  “Please shine Your light through my family and through me”. God has done that abundantly and the prayer continues to be answered.

 

HAPPY to know God provided a wonderful man to be my new husband.

Before his first military deployment we argued. He had the nerve to suggest that he would want me to marry again if he died. I adamantly stated it was NOT going to happen! He gently took my face, looked me in the eyes, and said, “You have too much love to give to be alone for the rest of your life. I would want you to remarry.”

I don’t think either of us believed it would become a reality; even twenty years later I did not. I had no intention of obeying his wishes when I found myself alone. But God’s timing is perfect and after almost three years as a widow, He opened my heart to the possibility of new love, then brought an incredible man into my life in a way that was clearly from Him. My first husband got his wish.

 

CONTENT to be exactly where he is right now.

 

Without a doubt,

nothing would entice him to return to this life.

 

He has been in the presence of the Lord every day for the past 1,826 days.

Why would he want to be anywhere else?

 

The Apostle Paul says,

“So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 5:6-8 (ESV)

 

Lord, while we remain here please help us to walk by faith and not by sight. We want to be always of good courage as we rely on Your direction in our daily lives, through Your word and through the power of the Holy Spirit. Please make us to continue to shine as a reflection of Your love. Amen.


   Terri Oxner Sharp is a wife, mother, grandmother, homeschool teacher, and a writer for aNew Season/A Widow’s Might Ministries. Her first husband passed away suddenly in 2012. She gives God all the glory for how He has grown her spiritually on her widow journey, in preparation for her new journey into a blended family. Terri and her second husband live in Arkansas with the final child still living at home from their combined family of seven children, two son-in-loves, and two grandsons. She loves to be with people who love to laugh, enjoys spending time with their grandchildren, who know her as “GiGi”, and feels called to minister to other women who find themselves bewildered to be on a widow’s path as well.

 If you are interested in having Terri or any of our writing team speak, please contact us via email at: admin@anewseason.net.

Articles with a similar theme:   Piece By Piece  or Walk This

Secret to Joy

Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

James 4:14 (ESV)

I stood gripping the edge of the counter, steadying myself, the memory of Tom washing through me like a flash flood of warm splashes, both refreshing and threatening at the same time.

Refreshing, because Tom exuded joy in his life—a twinkle in his eye and a keen sense of how to look at every moment and see the irony in it, the joy in it.

Threatening, because like Tom himself, I knew that immediacy of feeling the warmth of those moments would be lost when the cold hard reality would set in again—he’s gone.  He’s gone.

Life made a certain sense to Tom more so than it did to others, and anyone around him wanted that.

Even I.

It was his secret to joy. And most of us walking about on this earth don’t have it.

What was Tom’s secret?

Was it Christ? Yes, that was part of it—Tom sought after Christ like no one I had ever seen.

But it was more than that.  It was a wisdom—a sense that nothing on this planet is permanent, and that truth is okay. Because there is more. There is permanence in the next life.

When Tom finally chased after the Truth in the Gospels, he did so with this burning desire to understand, what’s next, God?  He had raised kids from his first marriage, and they were now grown.  He had started businesses, watched some grow, and watch some close down.  We had gone through ups and downs in our marriage.  And he would notice one thing…

It all eventually vanishes.

Children grow up and leave.  Businesses are never the same.  Friendships shift and people’s lives can change on a dime.  There’s got to be something more.

There is, and Tom found it.

When you know you are eternally safe with God, you can stop clutching on to this life, hoping the sands will stop shifting beneath your feet.  You will begin to just enjoy the ride of the shifting sands—enjoy that little toddler who is creating havoc in your home. Enjoy the brooding teen for who he is, a wonderful mixed up ball of hormonal creation whom God placed in your care because He entrusted you. Enjoy each of these dinner dates in that crazy process called dating. Laugh at the moments when you discover incompatibilities, trusting that God has a plan for the rest of your life.

Grab hold of every moment with laughter and purpose.

Because each of us as widows have learned something.  Our precious husbands left this world too soon, and since then, our lives were never the same.  We’ve learned that everything changes in the end.

But we also know that our husbands still exist somewhere.  We have a connectedness in our souls, a relational memory of someone we know is behind that curtain we might call the gates of Heaven.

Like a window into Heaven.

It makes a tragic view of this world, a view that says, it all goes away in the end, okay.

Not just okay, but encouraging.

Because we can rise above the pain and sorrow of events around us, knowing Heaven awaits.

Lord Jesus, help us find Your perspective through our window into Heaven. Help us enjoy the ride of life and see more humor in each moment.  Teach us to grasp each moment and decide to impact those around us so they see a window into Heaven like the rest of us.


Kit Hinkle is an author and speaker. She was an original writer of A Widow’s Might in 2008, and after four years with that ministry, expanded it and founded A New Season Ministries, Inc. Once the ministry became established, she turned the leadership over, yet continues to contribute articles while she focuses on her finest career as a mother to two high school boys, two boys in college, and a grown son and daughter whom she helped her husband raise before he passed away. She has lived through corporate careers as a chemical engineer and a management consultant, but now enjoys walks on the beach with her chocolate lab.  She loves to sit with another who is walking through her tough road and show that woman Christ. It’s an honor to participate in His kingdom.

If you are interested in having our team speak, please contact us via email at: admin@anewseason.net

Check out more posts by this author at- Kit Hinkle.

You might also like these posts by our team:

Fill My Days with the Living

Daddyisms

Contentment as a Single Mom

 

Stay Connected

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

                                                                                John 15:5 ESV

 What are you living for? It’s a question we come face to face with when our world is turned upside down by the loss of our spouses. My answer is I live to glorify God. There is only one way I can accomplish that purpose, I have to stay connected.

One of the first verses I memorized was John 15:5. But of course I memorized it WRONG. My version ended with “apart from me you ARE nothing” instead of “apart from me you CAN DO nothing.” Amazing what a difference those two little words make. I still chuckle when I think about this verse and my mistake. Over time, this mistake has become a two-fold lesson. First, it became a lesson about who I am in Christ – I am not, nor could I ever be, nothing to God. Secondly, it became a lesson about the importance of meditating on God’s word. Two critical lessons that have sustained me, challenged me, and strengthened me, throughout my journey.

When I became a widow, I struggled with who I was since I was no longer a wife. Several times the Holy Spirit reminded me of the truth I had learned from John 15:5. God is the vine and I am the branch. Being the branch – an extension of the vine – is amazing. Whether I am a wife or a widow, doesn’t change the reality that God created me to be His creation, connected to Him. No matter how alone I feel, how overwhelmed I get or how many tears I cry, I am still something. I am His creation, whom He loves. He has created me to draw my strength and my life from Him – the vine.

Over time, this verse has fundamentally changed my understanding of who I really am. Wisdom and understanding made possible only by the Holy Spirit helping me truly meditate on God’s word. I thought about this verse repeatedly until it seemed like it permeated every crevice of my brain. In addition to teaching me who I am, this verse reminds me how important it is to stay connected to God.

Early in my widow journey, I found it unbelievably difficult to read. Decades of being able to pick up my bible and receive comfort or wisdom whenever I needed, was suddenly something I was incapable of doing. At first, it was a few days, then a few weeks, and then it started to stretch into months, I started to panic. I tried reading my bible, reading devotionals, listening to Christian music. Nothing seemed to work. Eventually, I felt prompted by the Spirit to start writing devotionals, which seemed crazy at the time. How could I write, when I couldn’t even read? Writing turned out to be exactly what I needed to help me meditate on God’s word and stay connected to Him.

Are you struggling? Then breathe in the truth that God is the vine and you are the branch. Your identity, your strength, your life, comes from your connection to Him. Nothing can change that truth. Wait for God to supply the life and the direction you need, which can only come from Him. Trust – you are His creation whom He loves. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you so you stay connected!

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit who teaches us Your truth and who provides comfort and guidance. Help us to meditate on Your truth and to glorify You in all we say and do! Amen.

 


SherylPeppletbSheryl Pepple is President, and an author and speaker for aNew Season/A Widow’s Might Ministries. She lives in Texas with her two daughters, her son-in-law, and her grandchildren. She is a seasoned traveler and loves to visit great snorkeling and diving areas. Her husband was killed by a drunk driver in September 2011 and she lost her brother, the victim of an unsolved murder, years ago. Sheryl feels blessed to be able to share how evident God’s grace and faithfulness is in her life.

If you are interested in having Sheryl or another team member speak please contact us via email at: admin@anewseason.net

Want to read another article by this author? Draw Closer

Want to read another article? 5 things to help us heal by Elizabeth

I am not Equipped.

Some days are just hard. Some days my patience wears thin, and I feel like I’ve had enough. From the grief of losing my husband Michael to the challenges of blending a family and raising three boys, along with normal life stressors – emotions can TRY to take control – making us feel unqualified and unequipped for this journey. But as many of us have learned, emotions can be misleading.

There are many things I’ve learned since my husband Michael passed more than two years ago, but one thing continues to stand out:

God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called.

We were not equipped for the emotions that come with losing our husbands … on our own. I was not equipped for January 15, 2015, and everything following that day.

On my own, I could not handle my husband and the father of my child dying by suicide. I was not prepared for my entire world and future to fall apart in just one moment.

On my own, I was not prepared to be a widow at thirty one.

On my own, I couldn’t fathom doing all of the things that come with being a widow and sole parent.

On my own, the fear felt suffocating.

On my own, I could not have faced another day.

No human being is equipped to deal with that kind of trauma, ON OUR OWN.

Though I may not have been equipped to face those horrific circumstances or the challenges of blending a family and becoming a step mom on my own, the Lord equipped me to lean on Him – to lean into His strength, comfort and peace to make it through the unbearable days and even the impatient ones. He knows none of us are equipped to handle trials of this magnitude alone. That’s why He stands by our side and never leaves us, equipping us with His strength. He tells us this time and time again.

“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

“Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him …” Hebrews 13:20-21

I was not prepared to lose my husband, but the Lord did equip me to lean on Him for strength. His faithfulness is the reason I stand strong today. Sisters, He wants you to lean in, too. His strength will get you through.

Lord, We are all broken and in need of Your strength. Equip us accordingly to step forward in this new life, ready to do Your will. Protect us from the evil one and from self doubt that can sometimes overwhelm us. You have placed us on this path, and we know you will stand by us today and every day. Amen.


Jennifer was widowed by suicide in January 2015. She is recently remarried and lives with her husband Keith in north central Texas. She is now the mom and step mom of three sons.  When she’s not running after three energetic boys, Jennifer loves running outdoors, enjoying nature. As her grief journey continues, she is sharing her story to help others know that it is only in the Lord that hopeful healing and walking forward are possible.

 

Our team at A Widow’s Might would love to send a speaker to your next event. Email us at admin@anewseason.net to get information about our speakers.

 Here’s another article you might like about battling Satan by Elizabeth, Catch the Foxes! 

Several members of our team have written on the experiences of losing a spouse to suicide. You can read the articles here.

Transformer: The Letter H and Grief

Today we welcome Marilyn Nutter as our guest blogger. If you are interested in submitting an application for guest blogging with us, follow the link at the end of Marilyn’s article.

 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—

his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2 NIV

 

My grandson Quinn ran upstairs and proudly announced, “I learned about the letter ‘h’!”

“What did you learn?” I asked.

“Well, the letter ‘h’ is a transformer,” he answered authoritatively.

“A transformer?” I questioned in surprise. I didn’t expect to hear that word out of his five year-old mouth. “What does that mean?” I probed.

“The letter ‘h’ changes sounds,” he continued. “Like with ‘t’. “If you put an ‘h’ next to a ‘t’ it becomes ‘th’.”

“Oh!” I responded. “That’s an interesting way to think about it–a transformer. Can you give me an example of a word?”

“Three” he answered, beaming. “It happens with‘s’ too,” he said smiling.

“How’s that?” I asked. By this time, I was pleased that he had retained the concept and I could tell that he was excited to share his new information

“An ‘h’ next to ‘s’ makes a ‘sh’ sound, like in ‘shell’.”

“Super!” I said with a big smile and gave him a high five.

Satisfied that he had shared his new information, Quinn went back to the playroom. But our conversation lingered in my mind as I thought about the object lesson he gave me. Transformers. Changes.

Nothing transforms a woman more than losing your husband.

Life will never return to what it was prior to December 23, 2011 when I suddenly lost my husband. There were six hours from the first chest pain to his final breath. Life is irrevocably changed.

Like Quinn’s examples of transformations with letters, I’ve observed personal transformations.

I smile when the grandchildren speak of their Papa and the memories they made with him. I know in some way, they have been transformed by his presence in their short lives. Just last week, Quinn wrote on a valentine, “I love you and Papa.” Our youngest daughter married six months after her Dad went to heaven. God graciously surprised our family with joy and smiles on her wedding day as we celebrated her new beginning. Learning new skills such as online banking, has taken me to a new level. Discussing auto maintenance no longer resembles a foreign language. Researching and purchasing a new vehicle alone surprised me. Buying and selling a house and moving to a new state took me to new levels.

Life is different and God is in my transformation. He gives me the grace and strength to walk through each day, on the days of smiles with my grandchildren, on the lonely days, and on the challenging days when I am compelled to learn new skills.

We don’t deny our multiple losses from the death of our husband, but we can take a step forward when we see moments of positive transformation. Make a list of your steps. Can you smile through tears when you reflect on your personal growth and the accomplishment that comes with learning new skills?

We’re not the same women we were and our life script is different, but His faithful accompaniment and transformations are treasures.

Father God, we thank You for the transformations in our lives. Help us smile today and share Your joy with all we meet, despite our difficulties. You are faithful to love us and transform us into godly women. Amen


 

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The Prescription for Peace

Be anxious for nothing…  Philippians 4:6 NKJV

 

 

“Be anxious…”

Finally. A verse I can get behind!

I have this down pat!

I can be anxious.

What? That’s not where the verse ends?

“for NOTHING…”

How is this even possible?

Anxious for nothing?

Do you even KNOW what I am dealing with?

You might be able to give a long list of reasons why you should be anxious today. Thankfully, our verse doesn’t stop there.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 Living Bible)

When we are sick or have an infection in our bodies, most of us don’t hesitate to get the doctor’s prescription filled at the local pharmacy. We trust the doctor and the pharmacist, believing them when they say this will help get rid of the illness or infection.

Why do I doubt God’s prescription though? When His Word says pray about all my needs and thank Him, I often don’t follow the prescription. I think my way of worrying and fretting, talking to my friends about the problem, posting on social media all my issues, or withdrawing from corporate worship will some how work. 

There are several events in my life I can point to where I knew this peace beyond understanding. One such time was just before the funeral of my late husband. I should have more of these moments to report, but I choose my own way too often.

Do you remember praying during those days leading up to your loved one’s funeral, wondering how you would ever make it through that day, how you would make the walk down the aisle to the front of the church, how you would listen to the beautiful music, how you would greet the line of people afterwards? 

I sat in my room one morning during the days before the funeral and prayed, “God, I have no idea how I am going to make it through the funeral. I am asking for a word of Scripture to help me right now. Give me Your peace, please.”

I turned to a portion of Scripture I was led to, and His words brought so much comfort to my aching soul. My heart experienced peace like never before. It was the peace that I couldn’t understand when looking at my situation. It HAD to be supernatural. 

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 ESV

You know the peace is from God when it makes no sense to anyone else. Especially to us. Peace that reassures the heart, peace that stands guard over your hearts and minds, peace that can be MINE. 

You and I can experience this peace, replacing the anxiety today. God’s Word tells us to talk to God about our needs in prayer and be grateful.  Let’s follow our Creator’s plan for peace and be an example to others searching for peace. 

Father God, we bring our concerns and anxious thoughts to You right now. We are thankful that sometimes our hardest paths have brought the most indescribable peace, clearly being from You. We love You and are so thankful for Your love for us. Help us shine Your love through our peaceful lives today. Amen


 

Elizabeth kay Dyer, Elizabeth Sleeper Dyer, Dyer, Sleeper

Elizabeth Dyer lives in Oklahoma with her six children named after Bible characters, a large dog named after a grandfather, and a noisy cat named after a German race car driver!  Elizabeth lost her husband in 2012 and is learning she only THOUGHT she knew what trusting God was–widowhood has taken that “faith walk” to a whole new level for her. Psalm 94:19 has become a special verse for her family – “Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer.”

Our team at A Widow’s Might would love to send a speaker to your next event. Email us at admin@anewseason.net to get information about our speakers.

Do you want to read more articles by Elizabeth? Read them here. 

You might like this article by Danita titled Clogged! 

And this article by Ami titled Lonely? Exchange it for Peace!