All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Psalms 139:16 NIV
There it was, the last page. I knew that page was coming, and I dreaded it. I did not want to let go of this trusted journal. It was a gift from my beloved and held so many treasures. There were entries recording happy times of family holidays and birthdays. There were tear-stained pages as well, recording my beloved’s illness and passing. Now it sat before me, open to the last blank page, waiting for words.
This is what I wrote:
The last words here in this journal he gave me. Tomorrow, the second anniversary of his home going, I will start another. I will treasure this one, because he gave it to me. It holds so much of my past. Yet, there is a new one waiting. It has blank pages, standing ready to take words – words that will document my life – all of the next chapters to come. For it is indeed true, God, You have a plan. All my days are recorded in Your book. There will be tear-stained pages in the new journal as well. However, there will also be tales of joy and Your provision and care. It will continue to be a record of my life serving You my God, Whom I love above all.
I do not believe it was a coincidence that this last entry was to happen on the eve of the two year anniversary. Since God Himself has written my book, I believe He planned it that way – because He wanted me to understand the truth of Psalm 139:16.
My beloved’s book was completed in the early morning hours of a day two years ago. When he breathed his last, and the cover was closed, Jesus stood ready to usher him into his eternal home. My husband’s earthly story is completed and now his eternal one is in place.
My book is not done. I have not yet reached the last page. There is more life for me to live – a life standing ready – waiting for the pages to be filled. Yes, it will be a different life – one I am to live without my beloved by my side. I know there will be tears and loneliness. I am still searching for direction and purpose. But, I do k.n.o.w. this – my life’s story is authored by God Himself – written by His own hand before I was even formed in my mother’s womb. And I ask this – Isn’t a life’s story written by God’s hand worth living?
As I look ahead to the uncertain future, I say “yes” – yes to You God – this life is worth living. There are promises You have given me in another book – Your Word. You promise me in Jeremiah 29:11 that You have a plan and a purpose for hope; and in Psalm 138:8 that You will fulfill Your purpose for me.
Dear sisters, there is life left for you to live as well. Will you trust Him this day? I pray you will. Give Him all the as yet un-filled pages and watch what He does – marvel at the words He will inscribe on those pages. And when we each reach our own last pages, let us hear Him say – “That was a good story – now look at what I have written for you in eternity with Me!”