It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31:8 ESV
“But I won’t know ANYBODY!”
That was me a year ago.
I had heard His call. I had purged many of my household belongings to get my home ready for sale. I had checked in with my children and made sure they were on board.
Still, I wanted to bring in a godly mentor. So I sat with the Christian counselor who had worked with my boys since the days right after they lost their father.
I tested my plan on him. Was it crazy? Was picking up everything and moving my family of teen boys a whole state away from everything they’ve known really God’s calling, or was I following my heart without considering the consequences?
“I can’t imagine a better move,” he said.
Not that he would recommend all widows simply pick up and move. But I had stayed faithfully in one place during the first eight years of raising the kids alone. We were ready.
The move required many sacrifices. I was moving out of my home, out of my city, and away from everything I was accustomed to.
But I wasn’t leaving it all behind. After all, you can’t move away from God. He goes with you. Moses explained this to his people in Deuteronomy 31 as he handed over the leadership to Joshua. Isn’t his reassurance to the Israelites so relevant to each of us widows as we press forward into our futures? Especially at a time when the reigns of the ministry are being turned over to a God-appointed leader, Sheryl. We are assured that God is with us always!
I bring friends and memories with me as well into a new community and new life which has nothing to do with anything from my past.
What a refreshing thought. New. As in new creation. Paul said to the Corinthians, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (ESV)
This is not a move I could have done in those early years of grief. But where I am with my healing… It’s perfect! The new has come!
A year later?
I’m here in Charleston, South Carolina. I have a new church—new friends, and new interests.
And I am more intently leaning on Him.
My family’s finances are cleaner. I traded the burden of a large home for a manageable property which fits in my budget. I’m also in a state that uses state monies to help my kids earn merit scholarships. For the first time in years I have a workable financial plan for my future.
I’ve met new friends and have kept the old. Because I’m near the coast, I’ve had visits from friends and they reciprocate when I want to visit in North Carolina. Here’s what I love here in my new home. Where I enjoyed my friendships understanding me as a widow and remembering Tom and the history there, it’s a bit refreshing to have new territory where I’m just Kit—a friend who happens to be single. There is acknowledgement of my past and respect for my loss, but that loss is more put into perspective here.
Everyone goes through trauma in their life. A loss like ours doesn’t trump all the other losses so dotting the landscape of our culture—divorce, illness, financial loss, struggles with raising children. What I like about starting fresh in a new community is that my loss doesn’t take on a disproportionate attention because their focus is on getting to know me without thinking of me in the framed context of that tragic loss.
Through it all, God is with me, and He knows Tom. I don’t need the world around me to remind me how tragic it was to lose Tom. God’s comfort is enough.
And that’s where stepping away from my comfortable surroundings and moving to another state has landed me— learning that He is indeed enough!
Kit Hinkle is an author and speaker. She was one of the original writers of A Widow’s Might in 2008, and after four years with that ministry, expanded it and founded A New Season Ministries, Inc. Once the ministry became established, she turned the leadership over, yet continues to contribute articles while she focuses on her finest career as a home school mother to four teen boys–one of them launched in college. She has lived through corporate careers as a chemical engineer and a management consultant, but now enjoys walks on the beach with her chocolate lab. She loves to sit with another who is walking through her tough road and show that woman Christ. It’s an honor to participate in His kingdom.
If you are interested in having Kit or a member of our team speak, please contact us via email at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Would you like to see other articles written by Kit? See them here: Kit Hinkle