“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.“
Do you wake up every morning feeling like you have nothing significant to look forward to? Have you lost that kick in your step? I promise, sister, you can get it back. I plodded through that first year after losing Tom wondering if I would ever feel joy again. Seven years later I have a spring in my step again. As God heals, you go from having the wind knocked out of your sails to being engaged again with life—engaged with an excitement about the future!
How did the Kick in Your Step Feel?
First, step back and examine how it felt to have a kick in your step. Perhaps the last time you had one was when you were married. You may have squabbled with your husband over daily burdens, or perhaps you peacefully moved through troubles together. Either way, there was a fire in you. You knew the two of you would get through life together. Deep down, you assumed you had him to grow old with. You had something to look forward to.
Look Forward to Something Else
The next step is to look forward to something else. I imagine the apostle Paul and his selfless journey without a wife as a companion—telling the world about the kingdom of God. He longed for what awaited him in Heaven, but he looked forward to the here-and-now as well.
Now, I’ve heard it said many times to widows—you can look forward to that glorious day when we all stand before the Lord.
Of course, that’s true. But …
When you are widowed, and many of your friends are in married life mode, it’s difficult to desire your future joy when compared to their present happiness. Looking forward to the afterlife in order to feel whole again may not immediately put a kick back in your step. But over time, little by little, it can happen.
Every day, Paul chose to be used for God’s purposes. In Philippians 3:14 he tells us to aim daily to be more Christ-like, all while we look toward the prize of the upward call of Christ (being in God’s presence in Heaven). How can we do this too?
The third step to getting our kick back is to take time to spiritually grow so that the grief is resolved to where our focus is on the Lord, not on our loss. There are resources on this website that can walk you through the healing Christ offers. He can help you let go of your claim to your past season and begin anew.
While you are trusting the Lord will heal, try new interests. Don’t wait. Read, join a book club, begin a few courses, or take on jobs that will help you figure out your goals.
In my first year after losing Tom, I spent some time writing. It was something I had done for many years, but now I had a great deal to write about. My pastor’s wife also invited me to help market her chiropractic business. I didn’t think marketing was up my alley, but I found that being involved with the Chamber of Commerce and getting out in public was not only comfortable, but fun. It balanced the introspective writer in me.
At the time, I didn’t know where the Lord would take these activities. Now, I write and speak in public to minister to women.
The more I use the interests and gifts He’s laid on my heart, the less I dwell on my grief. The healing is overcome by my excitement for the future—both now, as I grow more Christ-like, and for Heaven.
May the Lord help you find your interests and gifts, sister. May He enliven your spirit with a sense of a bright future with endless possibilities. God bless you!