The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want… He restoreth my soul… Psalm 23:1, 3 KJV
I was sitting in my Easter Service this year listening to a beautiful message from my pastor. As he was talking, he referenced Psalm 23. Immediately, I thought of when my husband died. Psalm 23 is the “go to” verse for funerals. Then, my pastor continued to add that in order for us to experience an Easter Sunday, we must first go through a Good Friday. He reminded us that all of the Bible heroes have this story, so why would we, modern believers, think that our testimony would be different. It is the tension between our Good Friday and Easter Sunday that draws us to Christ and allows us to lean on Him for restoration and resolution.
As I sat there, I inventoried all the decisions I have made lately. I thought about how, for the last several years, I have had the terrible tension of wanting and waiting for my Easter Sunday in the area of love relationships. I have had relief, here and there; but for the most part, I have wanted more than I have received these last several years.
Why is that? Scripture says if the Lord is my shepherd, “I shall not want”. I call the Lord my shepherd and I live a life of submission to Him for the most part. So, why do I wrestle with the tension of “want” in that area of my life?
When my husband passed away, I was so lonely for him. As time went by, I prayed that the Lord would change my heart so it did not remember being married and then I wouldn’t miss that part of my loss so much. For the first three years, I did okay. As I ended my third year of mourning, I realized that my heart was open to share with another. So, I dipped my toe into the dating pool, the shallow end. As time passed, I met someone that seemed to be a good match. We set about trying to build a relationship – a life – together. After about a year and a half, I realized that this gentleman was not the one and in early December 2015 we parted ways. I didn’t have sorrow over the loss of this relationship. I didn’t have want for this relationship to continue. My heart remained open to share my life with someone.
I am so tired of waiting. I am tired of seeing the sorrow on my dear friends faces when they hear the news that I’m still single…single again. I’m tired of the “wanting” and “waiting”.
So, as I sat in church and listened to this message, I was thankful God sent someone to remind me I am experiencing my Good Friday. I am experiencing the tension of waiting for my Easter Sunday.
God wants this time – the time in between – as His time. He wants to sharpen me, prune me, love me and sustain me, all for His purpose.
My pastor reminded me that God’s plan may include pain and suffering, but the pain and suffering is not without purpose.
So as I wait for my Easter Sunday, I am in scripture and in prayer and pulling as close to the Savior as I can. The tension of the waiting is painful at times. I am reminded God has a purpose for me and I just have to push through this waiting period and then I will be celebrating my restoration, my Easter Sunday.
Dear Lord, It is in the waiting that I call out to you and ask for relief. It is during these times that I realize I must rely on you. As I walk through this valley, Lord, please stay with me and join me as I celebrate on the next mountaintop my very own Easter Sunday. Amen
Sherry Rickard is a writer/speaker with A Widow’s Might/aNew Season Ministries, Inc. Sherry lives in the Washington DC area of Virginia. She works in the professional community management industry and is very active in her local church. She has one daughter who is 19 years old and a college freshman. She also has a dog, Sophie, and a cat, Brandon. Sherry lost her husband on February 14, 2011 to cancer after a bone marrow transplant did not engraft. God has called her to this ministry to share the Hope that only comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It is Sherry’s hope that Christ can shine through her and that Christ can minister to those who have a similar journey. She is still here, so God has a wonderful purpose to fulfill with her life.
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