kit hinkle a new season a widows might

Finding your Pearl

“And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good f

or those who are called according to His purpose.”          

Romans 8:28  ESV

Consider the pearl.  A widely admired and coveted gem, it begins its life inside an oyster’s shell when an intruder, such as a grain of sand or bit of floating food, slips in between one of the two shells of the oyster.

In order to protect itself from irritation, the oyster will quickly begin covering the uninvited visitor with layers of nacre. Layer upon layer of nacre, also known as mother-of-pearl, coat the grain of sand until the iridescent gem is formed.

The iridescent gem of the pearl.  A beautiful stone produced from an irritation.  An intruder.  An uninvited guest.

I have often referred to this “path of widowhood” as an intruder.  After all, it was certainly not in the plans for my life. Uninvited and unwanted.  And, as I have walked forward on this path, it has brought along many irritations.  It is quite easy to focus on the irritants this invasion has placed upon our peaceful lives.

How can I take this intrusion of grief and produce anything beautiful from it?

Only through Christ, my sisters.  ONLY.  THROUGH.  CHRIST.

How we approach these interferences that seek to embed pessimism into our hearts and minds is where we can develop something as precious as a pearl.

Christ was to be a comforter.  And so He is.  He was sent to comfort those who seek Him and not the world for comfort.  It is God’s plan to use life’s experiences to shape us into the believing characters He wants us to be.  The good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the light and the dark times, are what shape the person God desires you to be.  He yearns for you to be a witness of His purpose in your life.

                   “to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit”      Isaiah 61:3  ESV

The very things that we wish could be removed from our lives can be the very things that God uses to shape us and use for His glory.  It has taken some time, but I want the pain and ugliness of this grief journey to be used for His glory.  I am choosing to take this unwanted intruder and allow Christ to mold it into an iridescent witness for God.  He has held me through the pain.  He has provided for me.  And He has shown me that, by relying on Him and trusting Him,  He can make something beautiful out of the hurt.

I pray that you, also, can find the pearl in your journey.

Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for being able to take this intrusion of grief and allow You to make a “pearl” of witness for Your love for me.  I pray each of my sisters can find the “pearls” in the messiness of their invasions.  Our trust and hope is in You as our comforter.  Amen

IMG_2758Bonnie is a mother of two awesome daughters who bless her life every day with happiness.  When she’s not enjoying long walks along the Florida coastline, She is flying through the skies as a flight attendant.  Life as Bonnie knew it took a radical change in the spring of 2009 when her husband was diagnosed with stage IV cancer.  The walk through that journey was the hardest she had ever walked.  How did she make it through?  And how is she surviving?  The answer is simple.  Jesus.  His love.  His mercy.  His grace.  He carried her when she was at her lowest. And Bonnie carried Him in her heart even when she did not understand. He has been faithful in His promises – “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.” (Psalm 68:5) Bonnie has been called by God to share her story through writing and speaking. 

If you are interested in having her visit your church or group please email her at

 Want to read another article about Romans 8:28? All Things Together by Sarah or All For Good…Really? by Danita

Looking for more articles by Bonnie? Click here!

2 replies
  1. Louisa
    Louisa says:

    Thank you so much, Bonnie. After much questioning and forcing myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other, I can see that God has used this “irritant” of living without my husband to strengthen my faith and to help me to become a more compassionate and loving person. All of these are qualities that I admired so much in my husband, but never even thought that I needed more of them in my own life. God is so amazing!

    • Bonnie Vickers
      Bonnie Vickers says:

      That is wonderful, Louisa. I love that you speak of those admired qualities your husband had and now you are using some now in your own life. I find I do the same thing. I don’t know, perhaps it’s a way to fill that void of missing him so very much, but, I agree, God is amazing and can use all events to grow us. If we allow Him to do so. It sounds like you are doing quite well with that – I know you will inspire many and minister to widows along your path. May God continue to bless you! Thanks for sharing. ~ bonnie

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