How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? Forever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; lighten mine eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death. Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed again him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.
Psalm 13 KJV
When my husband died, I spent the first three years healing and asking God for direction for my life. About three and a half years into my journey, I felt that God was opening my heart to search for another love. So I dipped my toe into the dating pool. I found very quickly that the pool is filled some sharks that are hungry, and you have to be very careful.
I have had a serious relationship that lasted about fifteen months, and because I lost my way in the thick of it, it lasted about six months longer than it should have. The end was dramatic. I was very defeated as I walked out of that relationship. Then, I went on a series of texts and dates that all ended with no love or even friend connection.
I keep asking God if He wants me to continue this part of the journey. I keep asking Him to close my heart and take away the desire of sharing my earthly life with another. The more I pray, the more my heart remains open. So I continue to pray and be open to meet people God brings into my life.
I don’t want this search to sound like it has overtaken my life. I continue to work full time; own a home and maintain it; parent a college-age child; attend and volunteer in a local church; write for A Widow’s Might; fellowship with friends and family; and support the care for my parents.
There is a certain vulnerability in sharing this part of my life in an article, especially one that will be circulated among Christian readers. Dating, especially for adult women, is really a quiet activity. But, as I sit here tonight at my computer, I feel called to share that I have not yet been successful in finding someone to share my life and my love of Christ with. In fact, I have met a lot of people who are fraudulent in who they really are.
I share this because I want you to know that this search for another life-mate is part of my widow journey.
I am whole in who I am right now. I am complete and God can use me in a mighty way, right now.
But, for the moment, God is tending to my heart in a way that makes it open for love and for a life companion.
This article is not going to end with a nice, tidy ribbon tied to it. I am still searching and I am walking out of another failed “friendship” after talking and sharing meals with someone for two months. I am seeing how God is, with the people who have crossed my path so far, sparing me from lifelong pain in that they will not be a permanent part of my future. My heart is intact and I can still love. I am not bitter– but open to what God’s plan is for my life.
So, I encourage you to discern God’s call for your life.
- If it is to have an open heart to share your life with someone, do so cautiously and safely. Glorify God in your search. Keep your standards high and don’t compromise.
- If you feel called to remain single, do so with joy, knowing you are complete and whole and God can use you in a mighty way.
I’ll keep you posted on my journey. God isn’t finished with me yet – there is still more to come!
Dear Lord, Thank You for being steady and constant and unfailing. I remain obedient to You as I walk this part of the journey and Your call to me to share this part of the journey with others in a public way. I know You will use this for good. I love You and I am so excited to watch You work in my life. Amen
Sherry Rickard is a writer/speaker with A Widow’s Might/aNew Season Ministries, Inc. Sherry lives in the Washington DC area of Virginia. She works in the professional community management industry and is active in her local church. She has one daughter who is 19 years old and has just started her second year of college. She also has a dog, Sophie, and a cat, Brandon. Sherry lost her husband on February 14, 2011 to cancer after a bone marrow transplant did not engraft. God has called her to this ministry to share the Hope that only comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It is Sherry’s hope that Christ can shine through her and that Christ can minister to those who have a similar journey. She is still here, so God has a wonderful purpose to fulfill with her life.
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If you liked this article, you might like: Dating a Widow by Kit Hinkle