purple sky cloud formations God widowhood dark trees Linda Lint

A Cry In The Night

I cried out to God for help. Psalm 77:1 (NIV)

 An Entry from my journal one very dark, lonely night two years ago:

Crying in the night, silently screaming “why?”.

Where are You in the midst of this pain I have?

My soul is desolate.

My heart is crushed.

I cannot understand why this has come upon me.

All through the sleepless nights I moan as I remember when there was joy here.

Will this forever be my lot now?

Will I forever be in sorrow with no laughter for my grieving heart?

Have You, Oh God, left me here in this dark, lonely, barren place and forgotten me?

What is it that my heart needs?

It is You – only You.

You who have gone before me into the days ahead.

You who have sat with me through all the dark nights.

It is You who gently whispers to my wounded heart “I am here, I know, I understand”.

You have always been faithful to rescue Your people.

You have always provided refreshing and renewing.

Even in the times of the great darkness, You have walked alongside giving light and guidance.

It is You who makes a way where no way seems to be.

It is You who will part the sea of my grief and give cause for dancing again.

It is You – only You.

My hope is in You alone.

My dear sisters, I wanted to share this with you today in order to give you a glimpse of where my heart was two years ago. I still hurt so very much, and the nights were so very long. Since my husband passed, I no longer had my “sounding board” – you know what I mean – that one person I could “unload” on, who would listen and love me through it.

I found myself turning to my journal every day, sometimes several times a day, and pouring out my heart to God – because I found HE did listen – to every word I wrote.

Two years later I can say He is faithful. He has parted the sea of grief. He has sat with me through the long, lonely nights. He has given refreshing and renewal. He is making a way for me to begin rebuilding. He took my wounded, hurting heart in His loving hands and held it tenderly. Yes, there are still tears at times. Yes, there is still loneliness. Yes, there is still “the missing”.

And yes, now there are pleasant memories coming; there are more nights when I sleep peacefully; there are times when I find joy on arising in the morning; and there is peace.

 I placed my hope in Him – He did not disappoint.

Dear Father: This is a long walk – this path of grief. Sometimes we do get so very weary in it all. Help us to place our hope in You – for it is in doing so that we will find the healing we need.

 

 

 

 

19 replies
  1. Sarah vR
    Sarah vR says:

    My heart is in that deepest of hurt and grief right now. It’s been almost 16 weeks since I lost my husband, I have no children and feel so very alone. We committed to each other that we were each other’s 1 and only & I can’t imagine my life with anyone else. Now his 2 kids from his 1st marriage that I helped raise have even been hateful to me…I feel like I’ve lost his whole family because the kids were with the 1st wife and since they were “married” longer (he wanted to divorce long before they did but stayed for his parents) I feel left out and like I’m grieving losing his whole family, too. My Mom is a widow but has kids, all my widow friends have kids…I feel so very alone in this journey and I hate it! The pain is overwhelming!

    • Linda Lint
      Linda Lint says:

      Dearest Sarah – yes this pain can be overwhelming at times. I can understand your loneliness and sorrow. When your husband passed everything in your world and theirs changed dramatically and it will take time for it to resolve itself. In the meantime hold fast to Jesus and cry out to Him as loudly and as often as you need to. He will not disappoint you dear one – count on Him to send the comfort you need at this time. Linda

  2. Karen
    Karen says:

    Thanks, Linda, your words are always “on time” and so encouraging! Thank you, my friend!!

  3. Linda
    Linda says:

    Love you girl spot on as a always. He came and called me his bride and I went with Him. Xx

  4. FlowerLady Lorraine
    FlowerLady Lorraine says:

    Jesus has been my strength and I feel more at peace, it will be 17 months on the 9th. One of the things that I am blessed with is picturing my dear husband perfectly whole and with Jesus, our Great God. I do still have times of tears and ‘the missing’ is every day, but the grief has lessened and it is all because of the strength and love of Jesus.

    Thank you very much for your very encouraging post ~ Love and hugs ~ FlowerLady Lorraine

    • Linda Lint
      Linda Lint says:

      Yes dear sister – it is ALL because of the strength and love of Jesus! Blessings to you as you continue on this journey.

  5. Deborah Moffett
    Deborah Moffett says:

    Linda, Kit was absolutely right! Your writing is like the psalmist’s. I totally get the “Sounding Board”.

    I cried out to God, not out of anger, for Mercy just as you have done.

    It has been said; God Never Gives Us More Than We Can Handle! I beg to differ.

    I believe God does give US MORE than we can handle because he knows us so well. By doing so

    We become more devoted & dependent on His Son, Jesus Christ. A relationship that is intimately

    more intense than our relationship we had prior to the Loss of our beloved husbands. After all, the

    Church ( Christ’s Bride) is a living breathing organism. His People as a whole! Thanks Again. Deb

    • Linda Lint
      Linda Lint says:

      Dearest Deb thank you for your words of encouragement. I always receive a dose of joy when I hear that my words have ministered to my sisters!

  6. Marisol
    Marisol says:

    Linda, thank you so much for your post. You wrote exactly what is in my heart and what I feel at this point of my journey. Yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of my husbands home going. Your words are a comfort.

    Marisol

  7. Sherri M
    Sherri M says:

    Beautiful! I long to say “He parted the sea of my grief.” Only God can do that. I will continue to trust Him for this. Thanks for sharing this, Linda.

    • Linda Lint
      Linda Lint says:

      Sherri that “sea” looming before us can be overwhelming can’t it. You are right – only God can part that sea. Keeping you in prayer dear sister.

  8. Sue
    Sue says:

    I remember about 3 months after my husband passed, I heard a song that was played at his funeral “Go Rest High On That Mountain” and I had been working and struggling every day with things left undone during his illness. I got so angry that he was at rest and I was so tired. God spoke to my heart and told me he had earned his rest and I was immediately contrite. Linda spoke to my heart this morning. God bless.

    • Linda Lint
      Linda Lint says:

      Sue – that was a favorite song of ours. Before my husband passed we loved it. Now I too am thinking about my beloved resting high on that mountain. I am honored that my words ministered to you today. Thank you.

  9. Kit Hinkle
    Kit Hinkle says:

    Linda, our sage. Your writings are like the psalmist’s. These are the posts I return to time and again when I need comfort. When I need to hear words of someone who gets it. Thank you, sister!

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