Last week the ladies had fun sharing funny stories from the dating world.
You can read that post here. But the main message last week is to have grace and remember that you say silly things too, and that each of these men are special in God’s eyes.
This week we’ll talk about another aspect of dating–purity.
But first, let’s get the funny list out of the way. Just remember, each of the men who said these things are special and sweet in their own way, and as a matter of fact, many of them have gone on to happy marriages! Okay–here’s five more crazy things men have said to me on a date.
- “I blew this date, didn’t I? Didn’t I? Oh, man!”
- “Um, my car’s low on oil. Can we take yours? And by the way, can we stop by a Wal-mart and get a quart of oil, so I can get home later?”
- “I decided to stop smoking pot last year.”
- “I never date a woman older than I am. How old are you?”
- “Excuse me while I take this call, it’s my landlord asking me for a check.”
When I took my haitus from dating, a friend gave me some assigned reading: “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. In it the author describes how badly the odds are against finding your true love by dating one person. Lightning does strike, but usually it takes time and energy to really figure out what the other person is about and whether you’d like to spend the rest of your life with him.
Add to that kids, jobs, emotional baggage from previous marriages, spirtual compatibility; (the list goes on), and you’ll find many excuses for not moving forward with someone.
The baggage and bumps along the way can make it hard for a couple to not run from each other, so sometimes couples will choose to do the opposite–lean on physical intimacy to overcome the bumps in the road. It’s easy to get lost in romantic and physical passions which can blind you from red flags that should tell you to perhaps look elsewhere for love.
I realize as a Christian ministry, we may have already given you the impression that purity is important, but I also want our readers to understand why God offers these groundrules for dating.
It’s not just for honoring God. It really helps you sort through the most important choice of your life–your husband.
Colossians 3:2 tells us to “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”
It would be so easy to quote the many scripture verses in the Bible that tell you to keep your body pure, but our readers already know what God wants for you. I want you to consider something deeper. By holding off on the physical intimacy, you are keeping your mind on the higher goal of the quality of the relationship in the long run, not on the feelings that hit you in the moment–feelings that like a fire, cool into the dust of burnt out embers.
Meanwhile start the right kind of fire, built slowly, carefully, with the right kindling and the wood that’s chosen perfectly for a long lasting duraflame.
Back to the idea that you might want to have coffee with many candidates before chosing a husband. I will admit to you, having almost remarried once, I find it a relief that we had managed to keep our purity. It made the decision to separate easier, and it will make it easier for the man I do eventually marry when he thinks about my dating habits.
If you haven’t made the choice for purity, would you consider doing so now? First of all, don’t beat yourself up. God makes you pure. You can begin the pattern now, no matter what you’ve already done. You can invite Christ into your heart and surrender that desire to Him and let Him walk you through this dating process without compromising yourself anymore.
Know that He loves you and will cover you in His compassion.
Once you’ve made that choice, you may need to consider ways to keep accountability for you and your dating partner. When visiting him out of town or having him come in town, include your Christian friends in the process. Have him stay at their home so they are aware when he’s coming or going. Sometimes what seems like a good idea at the time of planning ends up being an invitation for trouble once the two of you are alone and unanticipated chemistry develops between you.
God bless you in your dating. Keep the Lord in the conversation as you think about your choices each day.