My sweet sisters, let’s just be honest for a moment. I want to be real with you. We already know we’ll never be fully healed, right? We are all still at some point in the process of recovery, aren’t we? Whether you’ve just lost your love, you’re aching two years out or you’re a remarried widow like me, we’re always still recovering.
Because the earth doesn’t quake with loss of our loves and we just get over it. The crevices always exist, the deep cracks create caverns in our hearts and wounds easily seep when something subtly and unexpectedly pricks them. It’s what we do with our wounds in the lifelong process of recovery that makes us or breaks us.
You see, we have a choice, don’t we? We can let the loss’s quaking continue to rock our worlds and keep us on our knees or we can slowly stand allowing the shaking to create tremors for Christ. I know so many of you aren’t ready to stand on the unsteady ground beneath you. But simply lift your sights to the horizon and see the sun in the distance…see the eternally shining Son radiating His soul-saving rays of recovery towards you. One by one, they will reach you and suddenly you’ll see how the tremors of your heart can be used for Him.
For me, the first area of my life I consciously chose to let Christ reveal Himself as an extension of my heart’s aching was in my motherhood. I recall the sense of desperation alongside a deep desire to let my loss put Biblical purpose into my parenting. And here’s an utterly honest piece of my heart: It was harder than hard to start seeing how parenting alone might be able to bless my babies. But, eventually the process of recovery started in my mama’s heart. Here’s how it happened:
Prayer: Leaning on the Lord for the energy, time and specific purpose as a new little family of three. I wanted a strategy that centered around my Savior so I had to let Him lead.
Acceptance: Knowing this is exactly the place I’m supposed to be because God is right here with me.
Trust: My Father will equip me with what my children need from me and He will fill in all the earthly gaps. He knows their needs better than I!
Execution: Putting one foot in front of the other, I began using the depth of my emotions to drive my mothering. Sometimes I had to dig deep but God always provided me with direction and I slowly saw how, at that particular time in my life, He was giving my girls what they needed through me, a forever recovering single mother.
That’s how my loss helped me bless my babies! It drove me to seek Him and ONLY Him for everything I needed. It clearly refined my vision so I could see how the single most significant mission as a mother was to direct my girls to God. Perhaps without the quaking of loss, my vision would be clouded and confused by the world’s views. I’ll never know for sure. But I can say for certain, I let Him direct me as a wounded widow and single mother. And I still keep my sights set firmly on Him as I parent each new stage of my children’s lives.
So yeah, I want to be real with you today. After another Mother’s Day, I still feel the tremors of loss lingering in my heart. And it hurts. I’ll always be recovering, even and especially as a remarried widow now reconciling parenthood with a much bigger, blended family. But as I recover in the wake of Mother’s Day, this mom’s heart is fully His.
To all of you ladies who do this parenting thing alone, I KNOW exactly where you are recovering in the wake of Mother’s Day, alone and aching to feel just a little honored as a mom by my man. My memory is vivid and deep and your journey is real in my heart.
No matter where you are, savor the sweetness God’s grace because it takes the best kind of care of you. And if you didn’t yesterday, linger a little longer with your coffee, soak up a good book or simply sink into Scripture because that’s where the world’s tasks stop and His work starts in your hearts. Place your mothering purpose in His hands.
Here are a couple pieces I want to share with you. They came from my heart and fell from my fingers onto the pages of Happily Whole as I worked through my mission as a single mother.
Click here to read: The Mission of Motherhood
Click here to read: Unfortunately Flawed or Wonderfully Made?
Live Well and Be Blessed,